newyorkette

Facebook has taken over my life, it seems! I completely forgot to tell here about the stuff I’ve been posting to the Huffington Post’s comedy site! So, here we go!

The latest asks: Where do summer colds come from anyway? Here are some haunting possibilities:
Who gave me this nasty cold?

Another addresses the free entertainment provided on the subway by (possibly yours, possibly other) people’s asses, in “Things you can do with your butt on the subway.”

And if you want to know what the names of the cars of the future green economy will be, here are some of my ideas.

A little silliness.

I spent February packing for my move and doing these illustrations for a book called “The New Vampire’s Handbook: A Guide for the Recently Turned Creature of the Night” by Joe Garden, Janet Ginsburg, Chris Pauls, Anita Serwacki, and Scott Sherman. You may already know Joe Garden’s other work (done with the same or pretty much the same team, and another brilliant illustrator, Emily Flake), The Devious Book for Cats, and The Dangerous Book for Dogs, and The Dastardly Book for Dogs.
 
Here are a few of my favorite illustrations, based on how much fun I had drawing them, or how much better they looked when they were done than I expected!

Below is the classic vampire stance: arms thrown up in the air, fangs bared, pure intimidation meant to freeze you in your tracks. Used mostly to buy time when pursued by vampire slayers.

Below is a sequence, in which the small, dainty vampire bides her time, taking advantage of a lunar eclipse in order to get herself a little werewolf blood. The werewolf is wondering, “Me no feel so good! Did me eat something bad?”


(I liked basing my characters on people I know. The idea was that anybody could be a vampire, not just surprisingly goodlooking teenagers, or scary, Bela Lugosi types.)

Below is a very happy, bloodthirsty vampire who really believed in vampirism as a lifestyle.

And here is why you should be super careful in the subway, ladies!

To see more, here’s a public link to a folder on Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=80636&id=726599530&l=8d819c5c58

My latest cartoon in The New Yorker, based, again, on a true story. I was late for a job due to stubbornly remaining at my table in Bryant Park while a couple of dingdongs tried to stare me away. Totally worth it, since this cartoon came of it.  And my client didn’t notice I was late, anyway. And I got to use the word “dingdong.”

I was sure my mother would think I was making some jibe about her, so I did my best to make these people look like nobody in our family! But of course, it is a jibe about her! Hahahahahah! Just kidding. It’s a jibe about every woman’s mother, because nobody is special enough to think this is directed at any one particular mother, sorry! Or maybe, lucky you, everybody!

Click on the image to link to The New Yorker.

I’ve been saying that for months! (My friends know that only too well, alas!)

I have been inactive for the last weeks due to preparing to move, and then moving, and then unpacking, all of which takes way more time than anyone would reasonably think! And now I’m doing my taxes, so I’ll be scarce at least a week longer. But here’s my latest cartoon in The New Yorker — which I almost didn’t know about, since my New Yorker hasn’t been forwarded to my new address yet, and I hadn’t seen the magazine. Thanks to my friends for letting me know!

I think there’s also an ad for The Bubble Lounge with an illustration by me, too. If anyone sees it, let me know!

This may seem like an unfortunate accident, but would you really want to put your love life in the hands of a baby (presumably incontinent, and yet no diaper!) with wings and armed with a bow and arrow? It may be for the best!

Speaking of rejection (and the cartoon above was rejected three years in a row in various versions and updates), if you have no valentine today, or have been recently dumped and need to get out and laugh your ass off, go see The Rejection Show’s REJECTED VALENTINE’S DAY HEARTBREAK HAVEN at the UCB! Free beer and a party after the show! Couples and singles both welcome.

UPDATE: this cartoon appears on the Huffington Posts’s comedy site, 23/6 as of now, here! Please feel free to sign in to them and make comments! (It makes them think I’m popular!)

In preparation for Valentine’s, here is one way cupid can mess with you. And you know cupid loves to mess with you.

Based on a true story, I did this cartoon hoping there would one day be a New Yorker “Sex Issue,” never imagining it would be bought, but always dreaming it would be published!

(click on the image for a larger, more readable version)
This cartoon is also featured on HuffPo’s 23/6!

This contribution by Jason Polan. Click on the image for the entire reference article.

(Click on the image for Michael Crawford’s reference!)

Cartoon by Michael Crawford (with caption by Carolita Johnson) Click on the image for the reference!

And now for (an updated ) word from Joe the Cat. Click on it to see it on the Huffington Post’s 23/6 comedy site.

Jason Polan is the guest newster today. I really like his hand bag.

Click on Michael Crawford’s doodles below for the story.

NB: Newyorkette will try to do a few less fluffy stories now and then in the future, but we’re very sensitive here, and the stuff going on in Gaza, and murders, and that sort of stuff, well, we find it hard to draw. Sometimes it’s enough to just get really really upset. But we’ll try.

 (Click on the image for the article in the New York Times)

One way or another these dancers will find their way to keep dancing in their lives. What I found most interesting was their weight. Personally, I don’t care for ballet and it’s body-deforming ways, but it’s always interesting to see a ballet dancer short on grace, and with at least a little body fat on her.

(Click on the image for a larger version.)

Arab women earn their wings and take to the skies, but not necessarily to the culture clash back home: In Booming Gulf, Some Arab Women Find Freedom in the Skies

There was something nice under that suit, if one’s to go by the hullabaloo over the pics of Obama shirtless in Hawaii.  And Michelle looks pretty good, herself!

UPDATE: this illo got picked up by 23/6, here.

Guest “newyorkette times” news cartoonist, Michael Crawford weighs in on the Repairs on undersea cable, as reported by the BBC.

(Click on the image for a larger version.)

There’s some serious trouble in Zimbabwe, in case you haven’t heard.