newyorkette

Click on Michael Crawford’s doodles below for the story.

NB: Newyorkette will try to do a few less fluffy stories now and then in the future, but we’re very sensitive here, and the stuff going on in Gaza, and murders, and that sort of stuff, well, we find it hard to draw. Sometimes it’s enough to just get really really upset. But we’ll try.

 (Click on the image for the article in the New York Times)

One way or another these dancers will find their way to keep dancing in their lives. What I found most interesting was their weight. Personally, I don’t care for ballet and it’s body-deforming ways, but it’s always interesting to see a ballet dancer short on grace, and with at least a little body fat on her.

(Click on the image for a larger version.)

Arab women earn their wings and take to the skies, but not necessarily to the culture clash back home: In Booming Gulf, Some Arab Women Find Freedom in the Skies

There was something nice under that suit, if one’s to go by the hullabaloo over the pics of Obama shirtless in Hawaii.  And Michelle looks pretty good, herself!

UPDATE: this illo got picked up by 23/6, here.

Guest “newyorkette times” news cartoonist, Michael Crawford weighs in on the Repairs on undersea cable, as reported by the BBC.

(Click on the image for a larger version.)

There’s some serious trouble in Zimbabwe, in case you haven’t heard.

Above is how time flies for me. I did this doodle this morning while drinking my coffee. Suddenly I realized it was time to run to my day job! Thus, “time” and “carrots.”

As far as cartoons go, here’s my latest in The New Yorker:

And here’s my debut on 23/6, the Huffington Post’s comic relief site, with a musing on President Bush and the Shoe Incident.

If Santa doesn’t do it for you this year, celebrate Mulchfest instead!

I’m offering an original drawing to anyone who gives a whole animal on heifer.org. Just forward me your confirmation email (delete any sensitive information, as I don’t need it), and send me your address! All drawings (except the flying bee) are india ink on 8.5 x 11 inch cotton, pH neutral archival quality paper.

Whatever whole animal you fund, I’ll send you a drawing of it (or another animal, if you prefer). First come, first serve. But these are not the last drawings. I plan on doing more. Click on the goat above for more pics of other beasties!

UPDATE: if you’re having qualms about spending a whole animal amount, we can work something out if you’re only buying shares of a few animals to give in some of your friends’ names.

The idea is that if the water levels are at equal levels (from the floor) at the outset, the tree will drink the water from it’s reservoir, causing the water level in the reservoir to lower, which in turn will cause the tube to suck in more water from the number 2 reservoir automatically. It’s basic physics!  All you need to do is check the water level in the reservoir doesn’t get too low for the trick to work.  Put a mark at the good high level. My tree seems to drink it down to about a quarter inch below that marker a day.

The hardest part is getting the water to go through the tube and into the tree reservoir’s pan without an air bubble. To do this, suck the water from reservoir 2 into your mouth (just a little, no need to chug it), then quickly block the end of the tube with your thumb without allowing an air gap, then insert that end into the water in the tree reservoir’s pan. Pin it under the tree trunk if there’s a little space there, the opening needs to be in the lowest part of the reservoir. 

Check on the water level every now and then.

UPDATE: it works! the water level in reservoir 2 has gone down by a quarter inch. Success!!!

NEW UPDATE: put the tree trunk in a bucket of water the first night — it really drinks like crazy the first night or two. Then put it in the tree stand.

ALSO: if you notice the water is not moving in the tube once the water gets to a certain level, put a towel under the tree stand, and fill the reservoir to a point a little higher than the tree stand. This will cause it to overflow very slowly onto the towel. By slowly, I mean you won’t be able to perceive it if you watch it. Go take a shower or something. When you come back, just skim off the excess, and it should be sipping away fine for the next few days.

Look familiar?

I was only 6 years old, but I’ll never forget Iron Eyes Cody’s very beautiful 1971 “Keep America Beautiful” public service announcement. If you’re too young to remember it yourself, click on the image for the video.

Get Iron Eyes Cody’s book, “Indian Talk” from the Akta Lakota Museum and Cultural Center, here.

As for Thanksgiving, I give thanks every day, thank you! (See?)

(Here’s the legal link to two versions of the PSA in case the link to youtube has been taken down again for copyright violation. Unfortunately, it only works for people with Windows Media Player, not for Mac.)

(and yes, this is a semi-repeat of last year’s Thanksgiving post, because I never tire of this PSA).

(click on the image for larger version, which also contains a few extra, edited here, stray lines — I’m not used to drawing with a ball point pen!)

I have some friends upstate who are goats. I like to feed them from the little candy machine that dispenses goat kibbles for 25 cents a handful. Oh, the congenial welcome! Oh, the little velvet muzzles against my warm palm! Oh, the laughing, coin-slot pupils! Oh, how delicious with carrots and potatoes! 

We’ve finally made it into the 21st century!  Obama is the first bi-racial president of the United States.  I am emphasizing that he is half white and half black, and this is why: I am half hispanic, and half white, with a little Jewish thrown in.  What does that make me?  That makes me American. And that’s how I related to Obama.  I related to him as an American. Even though he was forced into choosing black over white for political purposes, he is multi-racial, and that is the future of not only the USA, but also of the world.  Which is good, because it means love is prevailing!

Welcome to the 21st century! The future is finally beginning to look like the future, and not the past!

Now! Where’s my Jetsons space-car?  :)

When I sell a cartoon, or see one published, I like to put up my rejects for good measure! So, first, here’s a link to my latest cartoons to appear in The New Yorker, this week a Halloween-themed one, and earlier, a childhood/artist-themed one. If that’s not enough, here’s a IQ-test game called “I don’t get it” from the Cartoon Issue, in which one of my old cartoons makes an appearance!

Now to the rejects!

I tried to come up with some images for The Bubble Lounge, one of my illustration clients, because I didn’t like the photo they asked me to use for a champagne delivery promo I was working on for them, but both my ideas were rejected!

Oh well! Here they are:

This one was inspired by a Japanese delivery truck logo I once saw in Tokyo.

And this one just popped into my head, inspired by a Le Monde graphic  for newspaper delivery used in their subscription ads:

WARNING: Don’t click on this link below till you’ve read the results of my calls and clicks!

Okay, so I have the day off today, never mind all the errands I have to do, but I decided to do my civic duty and check that the voter assistance websites and phone numbers were actuallly assisting people, since on the last day of in-person registration, they totally let us all down by giving out false information on pre-recorded (and out of date) messages, with no live operators to back them up, since it was a Saturday. Mind you, I know where and how to vote: I’m doing this to see how the system would work for someone who doesn’t know.

The first thing I did was a Google search of “voting in New York”. I came upon this phone number, listed on a few sites: 1.886.VOTE.NYC
This is the WRONG number. The correct number begins with (866), not (886). See what happens if you dial the (886) number. Imagine what you’d do if you were a less spirited person facing that crazy loop: give up, or perhaps just listen to the conspiracy theories that have begun swirling in your head?

If you find the official voter assistance website, you’ll see three options for finding out how and where to vote:

Search with the Online Poll Site Address Locator

Call the Voter Phone Bank at 1.866.VOTE.NYC

E-mail your complete home address to us at vote@boe.nyc.ny.us and we’ll e-mail your polling place location back to you. (Please put in the subject line the borough in which you reside.)

The third option is seductively easy. So I tried it. I clicked on the link, and a window opened up in my own email browser, into whose subject line I duly placed my borough, “manhattan”, and into whose body I typed in my complete address, as directed. See what happened:

From: carolitajohnson
Sent: Friday, October 24, 2008 10:37 AM
To: *VoterRegoutsideEmailAddress
Subject: manhattan

[imagine my complete address here, which I've deleted now for this post because I don't want to give it out to the world]

Here is the reply I got:

> On Fri, Oct 24, 2008 at 12:50 PM, Cathy Basham <CBasham@boe.nyc.ny.us>
> wrote:
>> GO TO WEB SITE
>> WWW.VOTE.NYC.NY.US
>> AND CLICK ON POLL SITE LOCATOR
>>

Hey! Why not just reply, “run around in circles, puny voter!”

So I replied:

> —–Original Message—–
> From: carolitajohnson
> Behalf Of carolita
> Sent: Friday, October 24, 2008 12:58 PM
> To: Cathy Basham
> Subject: Re: manhattan
>
> Thanks for nothing, lady.
>

And to which Cathy Basham replied (note the expressive of anger/impatience all-caps answer):

On Fri, Oct 24, 2008 at 12:59 PM, Cathy Basham wrote:
> WHAT DID U WANT
> U SENT NOTHING BUT YOUR NAME AND ADDRESS
> YOU ARE WELCOME
>

And to which I reasonably replied:

On this website, which I presume you know about:
http://www.vote.nyc.ny.us/pollingplaces.html
there are the following instructions:
E-mail your complete home address to us at vote@boe.nyc.ny.us and we’ll e-mail your polling place location back to you. (Please put in the subject line the borough in which you reside.)

It does not say to include a letter of introduction, and a Hi How are you?

-carolita johnson

 

I have not heard back. Poor Cathy.  I guess she didn’t know that all those emails would be forwarded to her. What surprises me is that I’m apparently the only one clicking that link and following instructions.  Way to get the word out, Voter Assisters!

Anyone else feel like writing to Cathy?
Here you go: CBasham@boe.nyc.ny.us

Other problems include:

- outgoing recorded message lists outdated information (such as voter registration information for past elections, as old as 2007).

- assister answering all my questions with “it’s on the website.” When I say “no it’s not,” she says, “yes it is.” Repeat.

- assister not knowing what “ex-con” means (when I asked if ex-cons can vote), or assister who knew what an ex-con was saying “only if they have finished their jail sentence and are no longer on probation or parole.” Which is not true. Parolees cannot vote, but probationers can.  Or so says another website.  Anyone know better?  Tell me.

- assister saying no political t-shirts or buttons allowed within 100 feet of the polling site, in contradiction to what I heard on the radio today.  Anyone?

- assister replying to my question of “what if it’s 8:59pm and I am on a line around the corner behind 200 people?”, with “I doubt that will happen.” When I insist is is happening right now in Florida, she says, “if you are on the premises on line, you will be allowed to vote, even if it’s after 9pm.” So I ask, “is around the corner outside considered on the premises?” And she simply repeats her first answer. Anyone?

UPDATE:
after trying several websites and phone numbers, this is my recommendation for the best, non-partisan information information online: rockthevote.org, and for the best by phone, call 1-866-OUR-VOTE (1-866-687-8683), where you can “oprima el numero 2″ if you need spanish-language help. You can make sure you’re registered where you think you’re registered, as well as ask any question — they’re very patient –, and report any abuses you may encounter.
If you’re registered but simply don’t know where to vote, try a google maps search: maps.google.com/vote

I totally have to give credit to SNL tonight for this pun. (I’d put up the link but it’s not up yet.)

UPDATE: I found the SNL link!  I think she says “terriers”! Not sure, but that’s what I heard!
Crazy McCain Rally Lady

This cartoon was inspired by the very desperate search to keep ahead enough of the news to submit cartoons that might still be valid for at least a few days.  At least time enough for the magazine to come out! It aint’ easy!  

Things change so quickly! For example, McCain will pull the Decency Card a few days before the debates, mystifying everyone till the day of the debate when he says, “I repudiate people when they get out of line!” (Which is true, but only for that one time that he made sure he got on TV a few days before the debates, saying “Obama is a decent family man”!) Till the debate, I thought he had simply lost his marbles again, like that time he hugged President Bush, with a beatific smile. Here is my take, the day of that repudiation, which did not anticipate its use as fodder for the debate:

I was so innocent and naive! His true love, after all, is Joe the Plumber, a guy ” who thinks Barack Obama “can tap dance - almost as good as Sammy Davis Jr.”! Now that’s a supporter McCain can be proud of….?

I made up and distributed a bunch of flyers of the above for my own neighborhood when I learned people could still register in person today! It seems people have been getting misinformation from the 800-NYC-VOTE helpline, which only has a recorded outgoing message saying that the deadline to register is Friday, October 10th. Which is not true! Deadline for mail-in registration was yesterday, but deadline for in-person registration is today, by 9pm in NYC.

So, with twenty minutes left, I decided to put it up on the website, just in case. You never know! Click here for a link to a PDF file with all the addresses, mostly schools, where you can still run in panting for breath to register in the home stretch. Addresses begin on the second page, by borough.

And if you get there even one minute before 9pm, don’t let them argue with you, deadline is 9pm tonight. Give ‘em hell if they try to stop you.

I did a variation of this portrait of Obama (see above) for a client, and decided to make a t-shirt too!  If you buy one, proceeds go to the Obama campaign, unless otherwise requested (like if you’re a McCain supporter, and prefer me to keep the proceeds, because nope, I won’t send them to the McCain campaign, ha ha). 

Very reasonably priced!  To see the, “you betcha!” on the back, and/or to order a shirt, click on the image below! There’s also a poster!

Me and fellow TNY cartoonist Michael Crawford at TNY Festival HQ, in the Acura Lounge, which commissioned me to draw this backdrop above, as well as the caption contest drawing below for this event.

In case you were curious, the image was the client’s idea, and below is the first draft, which was modified to the above as follows:
- client was afraid it looked like the people were going to be run over by the speeding Acura, so crosswalk and clear “walk” signal on street sign were added, while pedestrians were instructed to look both ways, even though they had the light
- client was afraid butterflies and birdies might end up splattered on windshield, so all flying objects were directed by flight control to fly in a safer zone
- client was afraid the bunnies might be run over, so bunnies were sent to “live on a farm upstate” (meaning, I cooked them into a nice stew and served them to my children).
- client didn’t like “bush” in back seat, so “bush” promptly relocated to the roomy trunk, while the flowers growing in the street were picked and placed behind the cartoonist’s ear in a coquettish manner
- cartoonist refrained from submitting a version with pedestrians bodies flying in the air after being hit by speeding Acura, and multiple bunnies flattened with tire tracks plastered on street.

Hooray for Photoshop!  And FYI, I did not provide a caption myself.