newyorkette

(image: carolita johnson)

Thanks to Gothamist today, I learned of a Blake Eskin update to Ian Parker’s 2003 article, “Mr. Next” about Bill Jones, the beloved “line director” of Chelsea’s Whole Foods. The update, “What’s next for Mr. Next.” is a “whatever happened to…” for those Chelsea customers who never venture to the Columbus Circle Whole Foods, where Bill has resurfaced.

I had to renounce Whole Foods in favor of the organic section of Fairway long ago, but I remember Bill Jones, who directed me to the next available cash register many a time, when I wasn’t being a “balker” or a “reneger.” His comfortingly fatherly baritone voice seems to calm the nerves of the hysterics amongst the clientele. You’d think vegetarians and health nuts would all be rather zen, but it’s astonishing how nasty they can become when they feel someone or something is trying to put minutes of wait time between them and their pure, life-restoring foods. It’s like they’re strung out! Or maybe they’re just grumpy because they failed to find love in the aisles.

Anyway, Bill Jones is no longer line directing at the Chelsea Whole Foods (he’s greeting customers at the Columbus Circle one now), but his voice is still there, somewhat, anyway. And life goes on!

Read about the cloning of Bill Jones, and how he feels about his new duties, here, in Online Only at The New Yorker.

Posted Monday, August 28th, 2006 at 8:30 pm under TNY. Feel free to trackback from your own site. All images on newyorkette.com are the intellectual property of Carolita Johnson, and you must ask (and receive) express permission to use them or reproduce them in any way whatsoever.