Reject du jour: because men are cheaper to please
(image: carolita johnson)
This is a very, very old rejected cartoon, which I’ve dug up in honor of Fashion Week. And speaking of how cheap it is to please men, here’s a little story of transcendent love for you.
When I began modelling in Paris, I had not been instructed in such basics as wearing a flesh-colored bra and thong to work. (I was one of the “non-modelly models” of the late eighties.) I still wore my old size 14 Carter’s underwear that my Mom used to buy me (those Carter’s last a long, long time! I think they had a motto that went something like, “If only their childhood outlasted their Carter’s”).
You know the kind: the elastic band way up by your belly button, covered in balloon or floral prints. I threw them out as they wore out, and replaced them with nicer panties (finally learned my lesson and bought a thong after being obliged to borrow one right off another model during a fashion show when I unexpectedly got stuck with a totally transparant dress). But I never really thought about their “M-appeal” till one day, at Jean-Paul Gaultier, my (hopefully gay) French dresser burst out one day with, “Look at zose culottes de bonne soeur! Your boyfriend must ‘ate zem!” And I simply replied, “My boyfriend never notices my underwear! He removes them immediately.” Which was true.
That’s the kind of man you want. Not the type to ask you to go to much trouble to please him with your wardrobe, which should be irrelevant because of his all-transcendent desire for you. But we have to spend money to impress our women friends, and just so, I suppose, since they’re the friends women must fall back on when their men run out on them (once they’ve noticed their girlfriends’ ugly underwear).
